The term ‘junk food’ is referred to as any food that is believed to be unhealthy and of low nutritional value (Smith 2005). Chemical addictives that contain in most junk foods help to improve the flavour, colour, as well as prolong their shelf life. According to Lin Tran (2005), increased availability and consumption of fast food significantly contribute to the falling of the nutritional value of food consumed by Australian children. Besides of low nutritional value, junk food is also being blamed for the soaring in the cases of childhood obesity. I strongly believe that the sale of junk food should be banned because it causes health and environmental problems as well as affects the behaviours and the academic performance of students.
Firstly, junk food is unhealthy. It is commonly high in fat, salt, or sugar and rich in synthetic flavour enhancers (Smith 2005). Besides that, it has been further justified that the consumption of products such as instant noodles and potato ships fuelled the kilojoules intake and contributed to the problem of weight gain. Research has been done and it concluded that selling of junk food in school canteens leads to weight gain problem. This is even worse as childhood obesity can cause heart disease, osteoarthritis, and some cancers (Tran 2005). Overall, junk food worsens the health of students.
Secondly, junk food wrapping can be directly linked to trash problems. Consequently, this litter increases cleaning cost as it is a safety and health hazard. In addition, the image of our communities can be polluted from the irresponsible disposal of this fast food wrapping (Smith 2005). According to Jack Green in ‘The Food Show’ website (2005), the sale of junk foods has caused the school canteens to face a major problem with litter. On the other hand, reduction in litter encourages the school to spend extra time on maintenance projects that benefit the school. As a result, the sale of junk food should be banned as it has triggered litter problems and has increased many other related problems.
Thirdly, junk food affects students’ behaviour and their academic performance. According to Smith (2005), many of the addictives contained in junk food cause behavioural problems in children. Hyperactivity and poor concentration are some of the examples. This has been further explained that the students’ learning capability is reduced as they cannot receive the nutrients needed for healthy development and growth when junk food is made available in school everyday. Research has been done and it summarises that by cutting down unhealthy foods in children’s diet, children’s behaviour is improved. Moreover, teachers noticed the progressive behavioural improvement of students in class after the removal of junk food and soft drinks from school canteens (The Food Show 2005).
As a conclusion, I strongly support that the sale of junk food should be banned in school canteens as it has many negative impacts on the health and behaviour of students as well as leads to litter problems in school compound. Although junk food is cheap to manufacture, easy to store and could help the school to generate high profits, school authorities still have to make sure that canteens are freed from any junk food as it will bring many detrimental effects to our next generation.
The whole essay is well structured and clear about your own stance. The introduction and conclusion clearly address the question too. Case made is convincing enough and the topic is well explained. All main ideas are included and well developed. Moreover, the sentences are well synthesised but certain sentences seem to be a bit complicated after being modified. So, try not to change the sentences too much so that it won't be confusing and will be easier to read and understand. Besides, sources cited are appropriate, yet not all information are fully in use, for example, the information from the fourth text is not being covered in your essay. Lastly, do check out your grammar and also the sentence structure. Here are some apparent mistakes that i found in your essay:
ReplyDelete- addictives--additives
- 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence-- Chemical additives contained in most junk foods help to improve their flavour, colour as well as prolong their shelf life.
I think it's a bit weird to put this sentence in the 1st paragraph, it's somehow irrelevant and thus confusing. Maybe you can try to ommit this sentence or insert it into the second paragraph.
- 2nd paragraph, 3rd and 4th sentences should be simple present tense.
- You have missed out the concluding sentence for the 4th paragraph.